Astronaut

Astronaut

Back in elementary school I had this obsession with astronauts, my friend Sam and I watched shuttles launch on TV wondering how far away a man could fly from this pale blue dot we call home. A few years later Sam and I were playing basket ball and we were trying to touch the rim of the hoop so when we grew even taller we could dunk like our favorite athletes. This curiosity consistently grew as we watched legs bend and snap up, tendons tighten and pressure is released on the balls of the feet. But see I don’t think it was the game I was actually paying attention to. I began to jump, everywhere I went. I would jump through the halls and between the cracks in the pavement and on top of benches and through trees and in the grocery store or just at home. I didn’t know why at the time, but I became obsessed. An addiction of sorts. And speaking of addiction a few years later Sam and I grew distant from each other and I heard from a few people he had been making stupid decisions. From DUI to MIP, you see Sam enjoyed partying; he would drink shot after shot to burn his throat. He couldn’t hold his cup still, but somehow it would just continue to refill. Spill that drink on the floor. Dizziness dissolved brain cells, trying to break free from those metal bar stools stood on wobbly tables and his designated driver snapped, only to let him fall… Designated 6 feet deep. Poetry in motion, a dead poet’s society. Carpe Diem shouldn’t involve a twisted heap of metal and crying mothers. Seize the day they say, seizing on the cold red pavement where he lay, that’s where Sam’s last breath would be made. The other day I was offered to go to a party where alcohol would be served. But I politely declined the offer see; I closed that door of opportunity because I was afraid Sam’s skeleton would be waiting for me. He just wanted a way out and no one would hold the door for him, and he couldn’t open it himself because the weight of the world was in his arms. The force unbearable. He collapsed spilling the vial content onto the floor. And if we didn’t clean it up it would burn holes in the ground. Maybe… I jumped so much because if you added up all the little bits of hang time, every jump between cracks or in the grocery store or through the trees they would hopefully be enough to jump me all the way to the moon where our child hood dream stood with an American flag in hand. Huston we solved the problem you see gravity is 5/6 less on the moon than on earth making all that weight we all carry every day light as a feather, we can all flock together. I jump because it’s the closest thing I can do to get closer to Sam, and leave this earth and visit him, only for a second. Don’t second guess this plan, I’ll find myself with Sam, and I find myself glad it’s not a race. For his sake, I haven’t, nor will I ever, so don’t offer, you’ll know my answer. But whenever I watch basket ball or find myself looking up to the moon where my dream waits for me. I can assure you my glass will rise, half full in salute to Sam, the greatest astronaut that ever lived.

Thank you.